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Either you get complacent because you assume that you’re so far out of your partner’s league that he or she would do anything to jeopardize the relationship – and thus quickly find out just how wrong you are – or you become so convinced that your partner is going to realize that they could do better and drop you like a bad habit that you end up subconsciously pushing them away.
Here’s the cold hard truth: if someone is willing to date you – whether you’re a toad and she’s a goddess, or she’s a 5 and you’re a 10 – then league, you need to improve your ability to connect with them emotionally.
It’s impossible – or so the assumptions go – that perhaps she’s legitimately attracted to him, that attractiveness and desire are about more than just the accepted definitions of good looks.
We get so hung up on beauty privilege, the halo effect, the value of facial symmetry and waist-to-hip ratios and the idea that only 20% of whomever get 80% of the fucking that we tend to ignore things that don’t fit the accepted narrative.
So while I may be a little behind the pop-culture curve, there are certain issues that I find fascinating from an outsider’s perspective.
Dancing is another talent that often overcomes looks. these are all incredibly attractive skills to have to be sure, but they’re hardly the end-all, be-all of attraction. Someone who makes you feel good, who is fun to be around, is going to be in demand as a lover, far more so than someone who is pretty, but distant and unapproachable. The nobody would never be able to keep up with him, relate to him, or otherwise be part of his life the way that Angelina (or Jennifer Anniston or any of his other exes) could. Brad Pitt is a working actor; this puts him in a see the months of living in the ass-end of nowhere when filming on location, spending time away from one’s family and friends, the 4 AM call times, the fourteen-to-twenty hour days, the mind numbing tedium between takes and the unending press junkets to promote the film after it’s finished.
Howard Marshall is the could achieve if we just work hard enough/win the lottery. Nobody is going to mistake him for an Abercrombie and Fitch model…
For many it correlates nicely with the idea that women are instinctively hypergamous, trading sex in exchange for status or support; naturally they’re just slumming it with the rich beta males while letting the alphas rail them on the side. people who looks – we all know people who are gorgeous but absolute wastes of space – but more often it’s something else entirely. in fact, he kinda looks like a stereotypical band geek. Paul Potts is another famous example of someone who isn’t conventionally attractive when it comes to looks, yet can , creating something beautiful and ephemeral through hard work and training.
We associate good looks with talent, which is why everyone is so shocked and amazed that a frumpy woman like Susan Boyle can sing like an angel.
The emphasis on physical beauty even over talent (see: most boy bands, idol singers, 99% of the winners of American Idol) means that most celebrities tend to be sexier than the average bear.